I Live! At University!

Yes I am still alive and kicking (in some cases literally) at university.

Got into my top choice as well! Studying Drama and Theatre at The University of Kent, its very nice, lots of hills though, which I suppose is ok when you have a bus pass... unlike me who walks everywhere... oh well its good for me ;)

I've been thinking for a while that i should get back into blogging, keep my mind occupied and maybe get some creative juices flowing for my comics, stories and plays, also; as i am now a student, i may actually have something interesting for people to read about from time to time, so today i thought 'I'm gonna do this thing!' and with determination i sat down to blogger and...
Waited...
Then i decided, 'I need to re-vamp the style of my blog for its grand new start'
So i did... Now it looks surpisingly like my Twitter page... i may change that later...

Then i waited again, staring at the mocking blank screen infront of me.
I decided i should just start writing and inspiration may come, i mean this is my first blog in almost a year so i'm allowed a bit of writers block which will; hopefully, ease with time, plus i'm usually quite a talkative person, so there's no reason i shouldn't be able to write about something for maybe five minutes in the day.

I guess the main change in my life so far has in fact been my move to uni, it was scary, and of course i was home sick; and still am from time to time, but that doesn't change the fact that this is going to be one of the most exciting and liberating experiences of my life, and honestly i can't wait. My mum and friends back home have told me time and time again, that if i ever decide university isn't right for me and come back home, they wont think less of me, its just not for everyone, and i wont be letting them down. And that's lovely and comforting to hear, knowing that i'm surrounded by people who care about me and understand me, i admit that yes, if i did leave university id feel like i'm letting them down, especially my mum and my good friend Nicki Clark, who have supported and believed in me through everything and still continue to do so now, inside and outside of school. But i also know that id feel like id let myself down.
It's quite depressing to know that one of my first memories at school is a teacher telling me i wasn't as smart as my friends and; therefore, couldn't sit with them in class, as i wouldn't understand what they where doing and id hold them back. That mindset was something i've held onto throughout my life, i have constantly been picking out faults in myself to the point where i get hysterical and panicked at the thought of an exam, essay or anything that means i have to show people what i've learned. It still happens now, nearly 12 years after this all started, that one fact has caused a major crack in my self esteem which may never heal, every pitying look, exasperated sigh, and patronizing tone, have turned me into the worry-wart i am today. Even my supposed best friends at the time seemed to look down on me, and i always felt bad for my mum when she was out with their parents, they always had something to gush about on the subject of their daughters, and although i know she loves me, supports me, and she would talk about me to them, i never gave her anything positive; that i know of, to tell them in return.

That is until i got to secondary school and sixth form, and i found drama, i found out i was dyslexic, i got help, i made probably the best group of friends i could ask for (even if that took a few years to achieve). Suddenly i was getting the grades people thought i could never get, i was considered one of the smartest in my year group (though i was probably an average student, i was just well behaved ;)) I remember my mum and me nearly crying with happiness when i was moved up to top set in both Science and English, and even more so when i was moved up in Maths. Finally i could tell myself i wasn't stupid, or slow, or anything else that had been drummed into me at my first school, my Mum came back from work grinning about how she could tell every teacher that doubted me that they where wrong, she was even showing my reports to my old friends parents.

I'm pleased to say, I was proud of myself.

This year has been one of the biggest of my life.
My final year in my safety net, my home and my home away from home (Drama), I've made the best friends i never thought i could have, and i still treasure them now that we're apart. I've met some amazing new people that seem to have now become a constant in my life, I've done things i've dreamed of for years (going to see 'Wicked' for my 18th birthday being one of them), and when i opened up my emails to see my exception letter from my first choice university, that was probably one of the happiest days of my life (and from the volume of her scream, probably my mum's as well), all the hard work id put in all my life had paid off, and i can safely say i proved all the doubters wrong.

Which is why i don't think i could drop out of university, id be letting down myself more then anyone else, and i promised myself years ago that id always put my all into whatever i do, so i can never look back on something with regret, so even if it failed i know i tryed my best.
So with that in mind, i'm going to put everything i have into these next four years of university, the future is a mystery, but to me that's half the fun, a real life adventure, not just one i've imagined but one i can live out myself.

Now this post probably got a bit more emotional and deep then what id intended, but don't worry, i'm sure not all of my posts are going to be like this (or this long for that matter), for now that this is all out of the way i can look to what is happening now and in the future.

Exciting times ahead!

Now

ONWARD!

New Year!

It's a new year everyone! A new start, a clean slate as it where.
And with the new year comes new years reselutions, and one of mine (I have MANY!) is to be more active, trying to live a bit healthier, probebly a useful quality for when I go to university in september :)

So as a result of this I have been roped into Janathon, now I have to do some form of excercise everyday and blog about it...so hopefully you'll be hearing from me alot more often (I'll also try to update the 'Piper' section of my blog as well ).
So anyway, as its the first of the month that also means its the start of Janathon, today was more of an ease of getting into the exercise, most of today was spent running from one place to the other helping to set up for my local park run, which turned out amazing!
I also dont know if this counts as exercise but i'm counting it anyway! As when I got home I spent most of my time dancing about in my room, I think that had to have burned off some callories so it stays! Plus it was very fun. 

Well thats it for now, I know it's very short but I dont have alot to say at this point.

See ya laters! xx